Saturday, October 17th
I haven’t achieved much today. I was supposed to be getting my website up and running and finalising the content so that I could launch my new venture. I began with the right attitude this morning. Settled in the loft, with a coffee, my laptop and acres and acres of photos to choose from… and nothing much as a result. Well, apart from a short slide show, that runs well but which I only intended to be a starting point.
I couldn’t concentrate on the work. My mind has been consumed with one thought: How do I know I’ve got it right this time? And, as large as that question is, it is only a fraction of the whole. The everything that comes next if the answer is yes.
Instead of working, I tried to analyse how I feel. My heart is telling me one thing, but my head is telling me to be cautious. It’s as though I have two guardian angels that are bickering with each other and neither will concede an inch. Being in England for the last few months made me want to come back to France. It made me yearn to be here again. Now that I’m here, and it seems that I have seamlessly slipped into a new pattern of life, I find I am afraid. My heart tells me to just drift and see where it ends. My head tells me to make a decision, a commitment, or at least take some time to consider what it might mean… Being here, staying here, making a life here.
I think of a life here and I think of Jacques and this village and I feel safe. But then my head tells me I need to think beyond that. My head reminds me that I’ve made one mistake already, and that I could be making another. My head tells me it might be sensible to keep some of my ties with England. But how do I choose which? As I followed through the various arguments, I realised that I was back at the beginning again. How do I know I’ve got it right this time?
It’s a key question. You meet someone. You spend some time getting to know them. You begin think you know what makes them tick and then they surprise you… or disappoint you. With Jacques, its mostly surprise. Which is a good thing, I think. But will it always be like that? My head, again, casting seeds of doubt.
I suppose the real answer is that I don’t know if I’ve got it right this time. I need to decide if I’m prepared to take the risk… the risk of betrayal… the risk of being disappointed… the risk of entering into a relationship that might fail or breakdown at some point in the future. How do you measure that? How do you calculate that? Something else I can’t get an answer for. Probably because there isn’t one.
One thing I do know – Jacques and I need to talk.
Find out if Beth ever gets that talk and see where she fits in with Merle HERE
About the Author
Having followed a career in Project and Business Change Management, I now work as an Actor and Director at a local theatre. I’ve been writing, in a serious way, since 2010. My work in project management has always involved drafting, so writing, in its various forms, has been a significant feature throughout my adult life.
I particularly enjoy the challenge of plotting and planning different genres of work. My short stories vary between contemporary romance, memoir, mystery and historical. I also write comic flash-fiction and have drafted two one-act plays that have been recorded for local radio. The majority of my stories are set in France where I like to spend as much time as possible each year.
Jacques Forêt, a former gendarme turned investigator, delves into the murky world of commercial sabotage – a place where people lie and misrepresent, and where information is traded and used as a threat.
The Vaux organisation is losing contracts and money, and Jacques is asked to undertake an internal investigation. As he works through the complexity of all the evidence, he finds more than he bargained for, and his own life is threatened.
When a body of a woman is found, it appears to be suicide. But as the investigation takes another turn, Jacques suspects there is more to it.
Who is behind it all…and why? Will Jacques find the answer before another person ends up dead?
Merle – the second in a new crime series featuring investigator, Jacques Forêt.
Join Jude Johnson and see her travel diary as she sets off around the world! This is the main character of my second novel.
If you would like one of your book characters featured on Another Woman’s/Man’s Diary than please contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org