Can we just pretend that I’m writing this diary entry last night, and not this morning? Are there rules, dear diary? I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to recap what happened in your day, that night, instead of the next morning. Okay, well technically, it’s not the morning. If you really want to know, diary, it’s 1pm. But I’ve only just woken up, so it counts as morning. Well, I’ve screwed this intro up but I’m not rewriting it, so let’s carry on.
Hello you. What do people even write in diaries? Things you wouldn’t put on social media? To be honest, I’m a chronic over-sharer so that leaves almost nothing to tell you. Okay, okay, I’ve thought of something I wouldn’t put on social media. I think I’m becoming gluten intolerant. I know that it’s a super trendy illness, but it’s true. Whenever I eat a full pizza, I get terrible stomach ache and horrible gas. What does that tell you? I’m no doctor, but I did consult Google and apparently, I’m gluten intolerant.
I’m just going to have to tolerate stomach ache because there’s no way I’m giving up pizza. Pizza is one of my main food groups. There’s pizza, cereal, crisps, Nutella, oh and cheesy chips. And pizza is probably my healthiest food group too, what with tomato sauce.
Or maybe it’s just my old age creeping up on me. I’m going to be twenty-five soon, you know. It feels so old and proper. No longer will I be able to say that I’m in my early-twenties. I’m going to be mid-twenties. I’m going to be closer to thirty than twenty. Shit. Suddenly I can see my life flash before my eyes. Remind me to check later for grey hairs. I know grey hair is very in right now, but I’m not going grey. I’m not going to age gracefully, either. I’m going to the grave kicking, screaming and blasting My Chemical Romance. So there.
Where was I? Oh, right, what I got up to “today”. Well, dear diary, “today” I planned my birthday with Alexa over our Friday-evening catch-up. We’re thinking of painting the town red and hitting our favourite club. A little uninspired, maybe, but that’s our favourite thing to do. I suppose we should have gone on holiday or booked a swanky hotel, but we can’t afford that, and we’ve left it way too late. Maybe next year, when I’ve settled in to life as a woman in her mid-twenties, I will have the finances and foresight to plan such a trip. Or maybe I’ll be whisked away by a very attractive and successful boyfriend. Oh, but I don’t want to celebrate my birthday without Alexa. She comes first. No matter how I celebrate my next birthday, we’ll be celebrating it together. That’s what we do. We’re always together.
Find out more about Kylie’s hectic lifestyle and her friendship with Alexa in The Wrong Side of Twenty Five, available HERE
About the Author – Kate Armitage
Kate Armitage is a writer from England who has three cats, two children and one husband. She lives an alarmingly conventional life which surprises everyone who speaks to her for more than five minutes. She spends her days knee-deep in play-doh and spends her nights elbow deep in manuscripts. Sometimes she lets the children also use the play-doh but only if they promise not to mix the colours.
You can find Kate on social media under @itskatearmitage or through her WEBSITE – http://www.katearmitageauthor.com
Come and meet Dotty Weathervane in between the cosy covers of the cosy crime novel, Dying to Eat at the Pub by Beatrice Fishback.
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